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5B_2008

这是我们的班级

充满泪水欢笑

这是我们认真读书的学堂

也是我们嘻笑打闹的天堂

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

大会报告!!!!!!!!!!!!!!身体要看好,健康重要!!!!!!

1. 起床先疊被  

人體本身— 也是一個污染源。在一夜的睡眠中,人體的皮膚會排出大量水蒸氣,使被子不同程度地受潮。人的呼吸和分佈全身的毛孔排出的化學物質有145種,從汗液中蒸發的化學物質有 151種。被子吸收或吸附水分和氣體,如不讓其散發出去,起床就立即疊被,易使被子受潮及受化學物質污染。  
  
2.生活常識......  
水果常常會腐爛 , 人們就用刀把腐爛部分挖掉, 把剩下沒有腐爛的部分趕快吃了。其實﹐這是錯誤的。因為盡管剩下的未腐爛﹐但其中大部分已被微生物代謝過程中產生的有害物質侵蝕 , 特別是真菌在水果上繁殖加快 , 有部分真菌在繁殖的過程中會產生有毒物質。 
這些有毒物質可以從腐爛部分通過果汁向未腐爛部分擴散﹐使未腐爛部分同腐爛部分含同樣微生物代謝物﹐尤其是真菌毒素 , 有些會致癌。 
 
3.不吃早餐  

不吃早餐的人通常飲食無規律,容易感到疲倦,頭暈無力,天長日久會造成營養不良、貧血、抵抗力降低,並會產生胰、膽結石。 

4. 飯後鬆褲帶  

可使腹腔內壓下降,消化器官的活動與韌帶的負荷量增加,從而促使腸子蠕動加劇,易發生腸扭轉,使人腹脹、腹痛、嘔吐,還容易患胃下垂等病。 

5. 飯後即睡  

會使大腦的血液流向胃部,由於血壓降低,大腦的供氧量也隨之減少,造成飯後極度疲倦,易引起心口灼熱及消化不良,還會發胖。如果血液原已有供應不足的情況,飯後倒下便睡,這種靜止不動的狀態,極易招致中風。 

6.飽食  

容易引起記憶力下降,思維遲鈍,注意力不集中,應變能力減弱。經常飽食,尤其是過飽的晚餐,因熱量攝入太多,會使體內脂肪過剩,血脂增高,導致腦動脈粥樣硬化。還會引起一種叫' 纖維芽細胞生長因數' 的物質,在大腦中數以萬倍增長,這是一種促使動脈硬化的蛋白質。腦動脈硬化的結果會導致大腦缺氧和缺乏營養,影響腦細胞的新陳代謝。經常飽食,還會誘發膽結石、膽囊炎、糖尿病等疾病,使人未老先衰,壽命縮短。

 

7. 空腹吃糖 

越來越多的證據表明,空腹吃糖的嗜好時間越長,對各種蛋白質吸收的損傷程度越重。由於蛋白質是生命活動的基礎,因而長期的空腹吃糖,更會影響人體各種正常機能,使人體變得衰弱以致縮短壽命。 

8. 吃太鹹的食物  

鈉在人體內滯留,容易形成或加重高血壓和心臟病。 

9. 留鬍子  

鬍子吸附有害物質。當人吸氣時,被吸附在鬍子上的有害物質就可能被吸入呼吸道。對留有鬍子的人吸入空氣成分進行的定量分析,發現吸進的空氣中含有幾十種有害物質,包括酚、甲苯、丙酮、異戊問二烯等多種致癌物,留鬍子的人吸入的空氣污染指數是普通空氣的 4. 2 倍。如果下巴有鬍子,又留八字鬍,污染指數可高達7.2倍。加上抽煙等因素,污染指數將高達普通空氣的 50倍。 

10.蹺二郎腿  

會使腿部血流不暢,影響健康。如果是靜脈瘤、關節炎、神經痛、靜脈血栓患者,蹺腿會使病情更加嚴重。尤其是腿長的人或孕婦,很容易得靜脈血栓。

 

11. 瞇眼看東西、揉擦眼睛  

眼角易出現魚尾狀皺紋。習慣性瞇眼還可使眼肌疲勞、眼花頭疼。揉眼時,病菌會由手部傳染眼睛,導致發炎、睫毛折斷或脫落。 

12. 強忍小便 

有可能造成急性膀胱炎,出現尿頻、尿疼、小腹脹疼等症狀。美國科學家發佈的一份研究報告指出,有憋尿習慣的人患膀胱癌的可能性比一般人高5 倍。憋尿時,膀胱貯存的尿液不能及時排出,形成人為的尿瀦留。如經常憋尿,就會使括約肌和逼尿肌常常處於緊張狀態;如果憋尿時間過長,膀胱內尿量不斷增加,還會使內壓逐漸升高,時間長了就會發生膀胱頸受阻症狀,造成排尿困難、不暢,或漏尿、尿失禁等毛病。在尿瀦留時還易引起並發感染和結石,嚴重時還影響腎功能。 

13.伏案午睡  

一般人在伏案午睡後會出現暫時性的視力模糊,原因就是眼球受到壓迫,引起角膜變形、弧度改變造成的。倘若每天都壓迫眼球,會造成眼壓過高,長此下去視力就會受到損害 。 

14. 俯睡  

使脊柱彎曲,增加肌肉及韌帶的壓力,使人在睡覺時仍然得不到休息。此外,還會增加胸部、心臟、肺部及面部的壓力,導致睡醒後面部浮腫,眼睛出現血絲。 

15.睡前不洗臉  

留在臉上的化妝品不洗掉,會引起粉刺和針眼之類的炎症,還能使眼睛發炎,引起皮膚過敏反應。 

16.睡前不刷牙  

睡前刷牙比起床後刷牙更重要,這是因為遺留在口腔中和牙齒上的細菌、殘留物等,在夜間對牙齒、牙齡有較強的腐蝕作用。 

17. 睡懶覺  

使大腦皮層抑制時間過長,天長日久,可引起一定程度人為的大腦功能障礙,導致理解力和記憶力減退,還會使免疫功能下降,擾亂肌體的生物節律,使人懶散,產生惰性,同時對肌肉、關節和泌尿系統也不利。另外,血液循環不暢,全身的營養輸送不及時,還會影響新陳代謝。由於夜間關閉門窗睡覺,早晨室內空氣混濁,戀床很容易造成感 ? _、咳嗽等呼吸系統疾病的發生。 

18.熱水沐浴時間過長  

在自來水中,氯仿和三氯化烯是水中容易揮發的有害物質,由於在冰浴時水滴有更多的氯和空氣接觸,從而使這兩種有害物質釋放很多。資料顯示,若用熱水盆浴,只有25 %的氯仿和40 %的三氯化烯釋放到空氣中;而用熱水沐浴,釋放到空氣中的氯仿就要達到50%,三氯化烯高達 80%C 。 

19. 賭博行為  

賭博之所以有害於一個人的身心健康,是因為賭博本身是一種強烈刺激,長期進行賭博,可使中樞神經系統長期處於高度緊張狀態,容易引起激素分泌增加,血管收縮,血壓升高,心跳和呼吸加快等,會增加心血管疾病的發病率,還會患消化性潰瘍和緊張性頭疼。 

20.生活過度緊張  

從事腦力勞動和做生意的一些中青年人,他們的生命機器在整日超負荷運轉,由於他們在心理上的競爭欲強,在生理和心理方面皆承受著巨大的壓力。過度的腦力和體力勞動後,隨之而來的是抗疲勞和防病能力的減弱,進而可能引發多種疾病。 

21.喝完牛奶要馬上喝白開水  

奶類製品要一口氣喝完,不能一口一口慢慢喝,而且喝完要馬上喝白開水沖掉附在喉嚨上的牛奶,原因奶類含某種酵素(or 脢),會讓喉嚨黏膜乾燥或帶走黏膜) ,黏膜無法保護喉嚨,產生不適。 
牛奶宜晚上喝,不宜早晨喝,更不宜空腹喝。牛奶裡含有使人產生疲倦感的 L色氨酸和有鎮定作用的嗎啡物質,早晨喝牛奶,勢必影響工作和學習。因為空腹吃東西腸蠕動很快,牛奶中的營養物質尚來不及消化﹒吸收,就排到大腸,造成浪費。 

在喝牛奶的同時,不要再飲果汁、桔子汁等酸性飲料。因為牛奶中某些蛋白質遇到弱酸性飲料會形成凝塊,不利于消化,又影響營養成分的吸收。 

22. 睡 眠長 開冷氣 可 致 不適  

在連續八小時開冷氣的房間,早上睡醒時會出現鼻塞、流鼻涕、頭痛等「病態大廈綜合症」症狀,有醫學界建議使用冷氣機時可在窗口留一條縫,確保睡房的二氧化碳含量不會過高。睡房內的二氧化碳因空氣不流通而積聚過多,香港不少人睡醒後也會出現上述症狀,有時還會感到懨懨欲睡,不少人以為患上感冒到診所治理,但其實只要離開該個環境便會回復正常。

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Healt tips








Tuesday, October 14, 2008

breathing therapy

我們有左邊、右邊鼻孔,吸氣、吐氣時有沒有一樣? 

We have left, right nose, is that the same for inhale and exhale? 

其實不一樣,可以感覺不一樣;右邊等於是太陽的意思,左邊等於是月亮. 

Actually they are different, can feel the difference; right side represent the sun, left side represent the moon. 


 

平常頭痛時可以用手把右邊鼻孔關起來,只用左邊鼻孔吸氣、吐氣,約五分鐘,頭痛就好了。 

When having headache, try to close right nose and use your left nose to do your breathing, about 5 min, headache will be gone.

 

如果疲倦、累了,相反的關起左邊的鼻孔,只用右邊吸氣、吐氣,不用多久,馬上精神好起了。

If you feel tired, do it the opposite round, close your left nose and breathe through your right nose. After a while, you will feel your mind is fresh again.

 

因為右邊屬於火氣,比較會熱,左邊比較會涼。 

Right side belongs to heat, so it gets hot easily, left side belongs to cold. 

 

女生大部分吸氣、吐氣在左邊,所以心比較會涼快。

Most of the girls breathe with their left nose, so their heart gets cold easily. 

 

男生大部分吸氣、吐氣在右邊,所以他們比較會生氣。

Most of the guys breathe with their right nose, so they get angry easily 

 

我們起床時,可以注意哪邊吸氣、吐氣比較快?左邊或右邊? 

Do you notice the moment we wake up, which side breathes faster? Left or right? 

 

如果左邊比較快,覺得提不起精神,可以關起左邊鼻孔,用右邊呼吸,很快的精神會好起來。 

If left is faster, you will feel tired. So, close your left nose and use your right nose for breathing, you will get refresh quickly

 

這也可以教給小孩,大人用更好。如果你有警覺心的話,速度更快。 

This can be taught to kids, but the effect will be better if apply by elders. 

 

以前我曾經頭痛,痛得非常厲害,去看醫生,醫生說:你去結婚就好了!(眾笑),醫生說得沒錯,他有理論根據。 

I used to have headache, it was so painful, go to doctor, doctor told me: it will be all right if you married! (All audients laugh), doctor does not bullshit, what he said is supported with proofs.

 

當時每天晚上都頭痛,沒有辦法看書,有吃藥,也不是辦法。 

That time, every night I am having headache problem, not able to study, I did take medicine, but that is not a good way.

 

有一天晚上靜坐,關起右鼻孔呼吸,這樣子做,不到一個禮拜,頭痛好了!持續做了一個月,從那天晚上到現在,一次也沒有頭痛過。 

One night, I sit down and close my right nose and breathe with left nose, less than one week, my headache problem is gone! I continue to do it one month, from that night until today, headache does not attack me anymore. 

 

這是我自己親身經驗過,每一次我告訴別人,你們頭痛的話,試試看,因為我的身體有效果,很多人試過也有效果。這是一種自然的處理,不像吃藥會有副作用,為什麼不用呢?

This is what I experienced myself, I told others, if headache, can try this way, because this is effective for me. Many people have tried and it works for them as well. This is a natural therapy, not like medicine, taking for long term will get side effect. So, why not try it out?

 

經常清楚的吸氣、吐氣,身體會覺非常輕鬆。 

Always breathing your body can feel very relax.

Monday, September 29, 2008

初念淺,轉念深

很有深度的六個字 . 
 

---------------------------------------------------------
 

  (初念淺,轉念深 )
 


 

  「明明已經是綠燈了,前面那輛車為什麼還愣著不動,搞什麼鬼?」
 

我狠狠地按了兩聲罵人的喇叭,前面的車才大夢初醒般地往前開去。
 

   
 

  「台北的交通都是這些人害的,到底是不是色盲?紅燈要闖,綠燈卻要停在那裡。會不會開車啊?」我對著車裡的友人發牢騷,好像自己是全世界最會開車的人。 
 

   
 

  隔了幾天 「叭...」 「叭什麼叭?」後面那一部像催命鬼似的車,對我不懷好意地猛按喇叭,我恍惚了一下,抬頭一看原來已經是綠燈了,很無奈地踩了油門。 
 

   
 

  昨天媽媽生病,住進了加護病房。哥哥正和我商量什麼時候讓媽媽開刀的事。
 

一方面想著她年紀這麼大,動手術會不會危險?可是如果不動心術,擺著勢必惡化,心裡的掙扎難以言喻。
 


 

  剛剛暫時的失神是因為正在思索這件事,才沒看到紅綠燈,後面那部車幹嘛沒耐心,又不是趕投胎。我獨自開著車,心裡咕噥著。
 


 

  人,容易什麼事都從自己的角度出發,直到明白了真相。 
 


 

  在書上看到這麼一則故事: 
 

作者在紐約地鐵搭車的時候,有一個小男孩在車廂裡又哭又鬧,而看起來像爸爸的男人,卻坐在原處文風不動。
 


 

  大家對這個現象非常反感,但都敢怒不敢言。作者挺身而出質問那個男人:「你沒看到你的孩子這麼吵鬧嗎?你應該管管他啊!」 
 


 

  男人這才回過神來:「對不起!我這孩子的媽媽兩個鐘頭前在醫院過世,我正在想以後要怎麼辦?所以...真的對不起!」作者突然間好後悔自己的殘忍。 
 


 

  似乎, 我們總是很輕易地去責怪別人。 也總是認為別人為什麼不明就裡,不能體諒我們呢? 
 


 

「設身處地」是很容易懂的道理,實踐起來卻不容易。
 


 

  但是,我們也不要因為這樣而沮喪,畢竟我們都是凡人,我們都有立即的情緒,只是 當我們要採取行動前,是否可以再寬容地想一下,或許對方面臨人生的重大困境或抉擇。 
 


 


 

 「初念淺,轉念深。」
 


 

  第一個念頭是對事件的情緒反應,通常較 膚淺,也容易造成誤會;但一轉念,腦海裡會為對方找尋可能的理由。
 


 

  如此,心情一寬,憤怒也就消失無蹤了,很多不必要的紛爭就不會發生 。
 


 

  嗯,以後我在紅綠燈下可得有一點點耐心,因為前一輛車的主人,可能正在經歷一齣驚濤駭浪的故事呢!  
 

 

 生命中總有挫折,但那不是盡頭,只是在提醒你:  

 

該轉彎了!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Science Facts

Kangaroos and Emus can't walk backwards.

Butterflies taste food by standing on top of it! Their taste receptors are in their feet unlike humans who have most on their tongue.

Most of the dust in your home is actually dead skin! Yuck! 

Although the Stegosaurus dinosaur was over 9 metres long, its brain was only the size of a walnut.

Humans get a little taller in space because there is no gravity pushing down on them. 

Rabbits and parrots can see behind themselves without even moving their heads! 

A hippopotamus may seem huge but it can still run faster than a man.

Even if an analog clock is broken, at least it shows the correct time twice a day. 

Sneezing with your eyes open is impossible. 

The trickiest tongue twister in the English language is apparently "Sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick". Give it a try and see for yourself.


More Food...MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Make Sure Your Teen Gets Enough Calcium

American teenage girls are not getting enough calcium according to a new study. Calcium is crucial for building healthy bones and preventing osteoporosis in later years. Both females and males ages 9 to 18 need to consume 1,300 milligrams of calcium per day for good bone health. Make sure your teen is getting enough calcium in her or his diet. A few examples of foods rich in calcium and their calcium amount include: 1 cup of milk—300 mg, grilled cheese sandwich—350 mg, 1 cup of fat-free plain yogurt—450 mg, calcium-fortified orange juice—300 mg, 1 slice of cheese pizza—220 mg, ½ cup macaroni and cheese—180 mg, ½ cup of fat-free frozen yogurt—105 mg, and 1 cup of broccoli—80 mg

Eat a Rainbow Every Day

Colorful fruits and vegetables deliver healthful doses of vitamins, minerals, and disease-fighting phytochemicals. The darker the color of the fruit or vegetable, the more nutrients it usually contains. Here are some examples: color green—lettuce, spinach, kiwi, and broccoli; yellow/orange—sweat potatoes, cantaloupe, oranges, and carrots; red—tomatoes, strawberries, cranberries, and apples; blue/purple—blueberries, purple grapes, plums and egg plant; and white—onions, garlic, and leeks.

Eating More Fruits and Vegetables and Less Fat, Leading Weight-Loss Strategies

According to a new survey of eating habits commissioned by the American Institute for Cancer Research (AICR), 4 in 5 weight-conscious Americans are taking an old-fashioned, “common-sense” approach to managing their weight. They turn to salads, fruits, and vegetables and decrease the amount of fat in their diet when trying to shed a few pounds. The fact that a clear majority of Americans are adopting this approach, amid the low-carb marketing craze, is encouraging news to health experts concerned about the state of nutrition in the U.S.

Men Shoot for 9

Men need to fuel up and shoot for 9 servings of fruits and vegetables a day for better health. A diet rich in fruits and vegetables helps reduce men’s risk for many cancers, heart disease, high blood pressure and diabetes. Why 9 for men? Men have high rates of diet-related diseases.

Barley Lowers Cholesterol Levels

Barley is very high in soluble fiber but is not often eaten in the American diet. A new study shows that barley is very effective in lowering cholesterol. Test subjects were fed standard diets plus barley at a low, moderate, or high level. They added barley flakes, barley flour, or pearled barley to common foods such as pancakes, granola, cookies, hot cereal, steamed grain, tabbouleh, and muffins. Those eating the moderate or high barley diet had a significant drop in total cholesterol (9-10%) and a 14-17% drop in LDL cholesterol. Need help in lowering your cholesterol? Try incorporating more barley in your diet. Look for barley flour, flakes, and pearled barley to add to your foods. Barley also has the lowest glycemic index of any grain (coarse barley bread has a glycemic index of 39 compared to wheat bread at 99). For best results in lowering cholesterol, aim to eat at least 6g of beta-glucan (the soluble fiber found in barley) daily.

Can Cinnamon Lower Blood Sugar? 

As early as 2700 BC, Chinese herbalists treated diarrhea and kidney disorders with cinnamon. Later, Greek healers and practitioners of Indian Ayurvedic medicine valued it as a remedy for digestive problems. Cinnamon may help lower cholesterol and triglycerides. Compounds in cinnamon may activate enzymes that stimulate insulin receptors.

B Vitamins and Memory

B vitamins, especially B12, folate, and B6 (pyridoxine) are crucial for normal brain function. A Swedish study tested the memories of 167 older people free of dementia or depression but who were at greater risk for Alzheimer's disease. On the morning they tested memory they also drew blood and tested for B vitamins. The people who had normal levels of vitamin B12 did better on their memory tests than those with lower levels of B12. Folate also seemed to help memory but not as much as B12.

Getting adequate vitamin B12 may help the brain stay healthy and help you retain your memory as you get older. Milk is a good source of B12. Persons who don't eat dairy or meat may be low in B12 levels unless they are taking a supplement. As a person get older, B12 is not absorbed as well, so a lack of B12 is common even in non-vegetarians. The Institute of Medicine recommends persons over 50 get most of their B12 from fortified foods or a supplement because they are better absorbed. Be sure you get plenty of B12 daily. Good sources of folate include green leafy vegetables, legumes (especially lentils), oranges, and food yeast (add to tofu, soups, roasts).

Monday, September 22, 2008

Ah Beng Part 2





(Act 1)
Ah Beng calls the telephone operator.
Ah Beng: 'Could you please tell me the time difference between Singapore and New York ?'
Operator: 'Just a minute...'
Ah Beng: 'Thank you.'
Ah Beng got his answer and cut off the line.

(Act 2)
At a bar in New York , the man sat next to Ah Beng told the bartender,'JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE..' and his companion said, 'JACK DANIELS,SINGLE.'
The bartender turned to Ah Beng and asked, 'AND YOU, SIR?'
Ah Beng replied: 'Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED.'

(Act 3)
After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite sometime,
Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend.
'It took me only 5 MONTHS to do it,' Ah Beng said. 'FIVE MONTHS?
'Why did you take so long.' the friend asked.
Ah Beng replied, 'No, it is not long at all, look at the box, it says it is for 4 to 7 years'.

(Act 4)
Ah Beng took part in the Singapore Manhunt Competition.
During the Q&A segment, the host asks, 'Name a drink that begins with the letter 'G'.
The crowd shouts, 'Gin! Gin!'.
Others exclaim, 'No, its Grape Juice!'
Another smart aleck yells, 'Alamak, Gatorade!'
Host : 'Quiet please.'
Ah Beng laughs hysterically like a hyena before replying, 'C'mon man, I don't need their help? I got more original answer.
My answer is 'Gu ni!' (milk in Hokkien)

(Act 5)
Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it when he encountered some problems. After a few attempts, he decided to use the 'Help' command. Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer shop for support. Ah Beng : 'I pressed the 'F1' key for help... but it's been over half an hour & still nobody has come to help me....'

(Act 6)
In the class. Teacher: 'Class, do you know the meaning of parents?'
Ah Beng: 'Yes, teacher, it means father and mother.'
Teacher: 'Good. Can you give me an example?'
Ah Beng: 'Sure. Cowboy's parents means cowboy's father and mother. Also can say Cowboy's father is Cow Pay and Cowboy's mother is Cow Boo. So if they walk together, we can say they are 'Cow Pay Cow Boo'.'

(Act 7)
Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered ,' I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring lor- but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear. So Kena lor!' 'Oh Dear!' the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. 'But, what happened to the other ear?' Ah Beng: 'That stupid fellow called back again loh!'

(Act 8 )
Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
Because according to the advertisement, below 18 is not allowed to go in.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Fun Food facts......

"Fast Food" Isn't New!

The remains of fast-food shops have been found in ancient ruins! Even ancient Greeks enjoyed take-out. The only thing that is new is the mass production, standard menus and recipes of fast-food "chains." Wow!

 Ice Cream Is Chinese Food!

When the famous explorer Marco Polo returned to his homeland of Italy, from China in 1295, he brought back a recipe (among other things). The recipe, was a Chinese recipe for a desert called "Milk Ice." However, Europeans substituted cream for the milk, and voila..."Ice Cream." Ice cream has been a hit ever since!

  Carrots Really Can Help You See In The Dark!

Vitamin A is known to prevent "night blindness," and carrots are loaded with Vitamin A. So, why not load-up today!

  The Word "Salary" Comes From "Salt!"

Salt, our oldest preservative, was extremely rare in the past. So rare, in fact, that it was often used as pay. Imagine...earning a couple of tablespoons of salt for a hard-days work. Today, salt is so common that restaurants give it away for free, and packaged food contains so much that it's far too easy to eat too much salt (salt is also known as "sodium"). 

  Sometimes Frozen Fruits And Vegetables
  Are More Nutritious Than Fresh!


The longer that fruits or vegetables sit around waiting to be sold or eaten, the more nutrients they lose. But fruits and vegetables grown for freezing are usually frozen right after they're picked. Therefore, they have less time to lose their nutrients.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Random Facts

*Ducks quacks don't echo. No one knows why.
*Hitler's mother thought about having an abortion, but was talked out of it by her doctor.
*We shed 40 pounds of skin in a lifetime.
*Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.
*Right handed people live on average 9 years longer than left handed people.
*A person uses approximately fifty-seven sheets of toilet paper each day.
*In Singapore, it is illegal to sell or own chewing gum.
*"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
*A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
*Coca-Cola would be green if colouring weren’t added to it.
*Donald Duck was banned in Finland for a while because he doesn't wear pants.
*The longest word in the English language is pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.
*111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
*The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan."
*The manufacturing documentation for a Jumbo Jet weighs more than a Jumbo Jet.
*If electrodes are inserted at opposite ends of a pickle, and electricity is passed through, the pickle will glow.
*The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
*Mel Blanc, the voice of Bugs Bunny, was allergic to carrots.
*40% of cases a pizza will arrive sooner than an ambulance.
*Most toilets flush in E-flat.
*It is believed that Shakespeare was 46 around the time that the King James Version of the Bible was written. In Psalms 46, the 46th word from the first word is shake and the 46th word from the last word is spear.
*The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing her hands in jelly.
*In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.
*A hummingbird weighs less than a penny.
*The longest one-syllable word is "screeched."
*Frowning burns more calories than smiling.
*1/4 of the bones in your body are in your feet.
*The average woman consumes 6 pounds of lipstick in her lifetime.
*The bullfrog is the only animal that never sleeps.
*If you keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually turn white.
*A ball of glass will bounce higher that a ball of rubber.
*Children grow faster in the spring.
*On average, a human being will spend up to 2 weeks kissing in his/her lifetime.
*Mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas.
*A sneeze travels out of your mouth at over100 miles per hour.
*Some ribbon worms will eat themselves if they cant find any food.
*A "dude" is an infected hair on an elephants butt.
*The average person has a total of 6 pounds of skin.
*Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a spacesuit damages them.
*On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.
*On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year.
*Red is the most commonly colored vehicle involved in accidents each year.
*The swastika was originally a symbol of peace and honor and is still used by Buddhists today.
*Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
*Shakespeare invented the words "assassination" and "bump."
*In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
*American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
*The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
*Marilyn Monroe had 6 toes.

Is Hell exothermic or Endothermic?

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington engineering mid-term. The answer was so "profound" that the Professor shared it with colleagues, and the sharing obviously hasn't ceased.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or Endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote Proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let us look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."

This student received the only A.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

50 Funniest Stories - Part 2

26. My brother Jim was hired by a government agency and assigned to a small office cubicle in a large area. At the end of his first day, he realized he had no idea how to get out. He wandered around, lost in the maze of cubicles and corridors. Just as panic began to set in, he came upon another employee in a cubicle. "How do you get out of here?" Jim asked.
The fellow smiled and said, "No cheese for you."
--Christine Probasco

27. I am five feet three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After I had a minor accident, my mother accompanied me to the emergency room. The triage nurse asked for my height and weight, and I blurted out, "Five-foot-eight and 125 pounds." "Sweetheart," my mother gently chided, "this is not the Internet."
--M.M.

28. Anytime companies merge, employees worry about layoffs. When the company I work for was bought, I was no exception. My fears seemed justified when a photo of the newly merged staff appeared on the company's website with the following words underneath: "Updated daily."
--Dianne Stevens

One for the Road
29. Our first day at a resort, my wife and I decided to hit the beach. When I went back to our room to get something to drink, one of the hotel maids was making our bed. I grabbed my cooler and was on my way out when I paused and asked, "Can we drink beer on the beach?"
"Sure," she said, "but I have to finish the rest of the rooms first."
--Louis Allard

30. My friend John and I, determined to see the world, signed on to a Norwegian freighter as deckhands. We were being trained as helmsmen, and John's first lesson was given by the mate, a seasoned but gentle white-haired seafarer. John was holding the heading he'd been given, when the mate ordered, "Come starboard."
Pleased at knowing which way starboard was, John left the helm and walked over to his instructor. As the helm swung freely, the mate politely asked, "Could you bring the ship with you?"
--Bruce Ingraham

31. Sitting in coach during a lengthy flight, my wife and I heard a flight attendant ask the high-paying passengers in first class, "Would you care for Chardonnay or Burgundy?"
A few minutes later, the curtains between the two sections parted, and the attendant wheeled the wine cart back to our aisle. "Excuse me," he said, looking down at us, "would you care for a glass of wine? We have white and red."
--William V. Copeland

Press '1' for...
32. When Dad's satellite dish conked out, I found him on the phone with the help desk. The TV set was pulled away from the wall, and he was staring at the mass of tangled wires spilling out the back of it.
He looked absolutely overwhelmed.
"Tell you what I'm going to do," Dad said to the technician. "I'm going to hang up now, go to college for a couple of years, and then call you back."
--Dana Marisca

33. My 50-something friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her mother to the magic of the Internet. Our first move was to access the popular Ask Jeeves site, and we told her it could answer any question she had. Nancy's mother was very skeptical until Nancy said, "It's true, Mom. Think of something to ask it."
As I sat with my fingers poised over the keyboard, Nancy's mother thought for a minute, then responded, "How is Aunt Helen feeling?"
--Catherine Burns

34. A pastor I know has a standard liturgy for funerals. To personalize each service, he uses the Find and Replace command on his computer to replace the name of the deceased from the previous funeral with the name of the deceased for the upcoming one. Recently, he had to replace the name Mary with Edna.
The next morning, the funeral was going smoothly until the congregation intoned the Apostles' Creed. "Jesus Christ," they read from the preprinted program, "born of the Virgin Edna."
--Robin Greenspan

35. I feel inadequate when talking with a mechanic, so when my vehicle started making a strange noise, I sought help from a friend. A car nut, he told me how to explain the difficulty when I took it in for repair.
At the shop, I proudly recited, "The timing is off, and there are premature detonations, which may damage the valves."
As I smugly glanced over the mechanic's shoulder, I saw him write on his clipboard, "Lady says it makes a funny noise."
--Kate Kellogg

How Do You Spell IQ?
36. My friend was flabbergasted. She'd read that in a recent survey, our home state of California was ranked 47 in a list of the nation's smartest states.
"Can you believe that?" she fumed. "We're 47 out of 52!"
--Juan Gonzales

37. Halfway through dinner one night, our friend Jim told us of his days playing football in college as a defensive lineman.
"Did you play sports in college, Mike?" his wife then asked me.
"Yes," I answered. "I was on West Point's shooting team."
"That's great," she said. "Offense or defense?"
--Mike Maloney

38. Strolling through town, I saw a road worker printing a sign that read "Raised Manhole Ahead." I pointed out that there were more like ten raised manholes. The sign, he assured me, would be changed.
Later that day, the sign was corrected. It now read "Raised Menhole Ahead."
--Minx McCloud

39. Since I was a new patient, I had to fill out an information form for the doctor's files. The nurse reading it over noticed my unusual name.
"How do you pronounce it?" she asked.
"Na-le-Y-ko," I said, proud of my Ukrainian heritage.
"That sounds real nice," she said, smiling.
"Yes, it is melodious," I agreed.
"So," she asked sweetly, "what part of Melodia is your family from?"
--Ann Nalywajko

40. These newspaper editors stand corrected. From The Silver City (New Mexico) Daily Press: "Due to technical difficulties, Tuesday's page 7 was inadvertently left out and replaced with Monday's page 7. Today, page 5 will feature Tuesday's front page, while page 6 will be the correct page 7 for Tuesday."
--Robin Shetler

Edible Complex
41. The local market has a bin where employees keep returned items. The bin is labeled "Spoils." I never thought much about it, until one afternoon I heard an announcement over the loudspeaker: "Victor to the spoils. Thank you."
--Chris Dejong

42. It was an absolutely crazy evening at our emergency clinic. The doctor on duty was being bombarded with questions, given forms to fill out, and even asked for his dinner order. I was in the next room, cleaning up a sutured wound, when I realized the doctor hadn't given instructions for a bandage.
"What kind of dressing do you want on that?" I shouted through the door.
"Ranch," he yelled back.
--Brenda Todd

Gee, Thanks for the Help
43. For some reason, the bookstore clerk couldn't get the computer to recognize my preferred customer card. Peering over her shoulder at the screen, I said, "There's part of the problem. It shows my birth date as 12/31/1899."
"That's right," my husband chimed in. "She was born in June, not December."
--M. Patricia Capin

44. At 82 years old, my husband applied for his first passport. He was told he would need a birth certificate, but his birth had never been officially registered.
When he explained his dilemma to the passport agent, the response was less than helpful. "It's all right," the agent said. "Just bring a notarized affidavit from the doctor who delivered you."
--Elgarda Ashliman

War Stories
45. Short and baby-faced, my buddy Wiggins had trouble being taken seriously in the Army. A mustache, he assumed, would fix that. He was wrong.
"Wiggins!" bellowed our drill instructor after spotting the growth during inspection. "What's so special about your nose that it's got to be underlined?"
--K. Trott

46. While my husband was stationed overseas, our four-year-old daughter decided that she needed a baby brother.
"Good idea," I told her. "But don't you think we should wait till your father's home?"
She had a better idea. "Why don't we just surprise him?"
--Kay Schmidt

47. During basic training, our drill sergeant asked all Jewish personnel to make themselves known. Six of us tentatively raised our hands. Much to our relief, we were given the day off for Rosh Hashanah.
A few days later, in anticipation of Yom Kippur, the sergeant again asked for all Jewish personnel to identify themselves. This time, every soldier raised his hand. "Only those who were Jewish last week can be Jewish this week," declared the sergeant.
--Allen Israel

48. Just before I was deployed to Iraq, I sat my eight-year-old son down and broke the news to him.
"I'm going to be away for a long time," I told him. "I'm going to Iraq."
"Why?" he asked. "Don't you know there's a war going on over there?"
--Thomas Cioppa

49. When I worked as a medical intern in a hospital, one of my patients was an elderly man with a thick accent. It took a while before I understood that he had no health insurance. Since he was a World War II vet, I had him transported to a VA hospital, where he'd be eligible for benefits.
The next day, my patient was back, along with this note from the VA admitting nurse: "Right war, wrong side."
--M. Murray

50. Few people outside the military know what a quartermaster does. So during my aircraft carrier's Family Day, I demonstrated a procedure called semaphore-I grabbed my flags and signaled an imaginary boat.
When finished, I pointed to a little girl in front and asked, "Now do you know what I do?"
"Yes," she answered. "You're a cheerleader."
--Danny Sullivan

Sunday, August 31, 2008

50 Funniest Stories - Part 1

Ill Defined
1. We were really confused. While transcribing medical audiotapes, a colleague came upon the following garbled diagnosis: "This man has pholenfrometry."
Knowing nothing about that particular condition, she double-checked with the doctor. After listening to the tape, he shook his head.
"This man," he said, translating for her, "has fallen from a tree."
--Patricia Longbottom

2. Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found an elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet-who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down, I asked if his wife was meeting him.
"I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."
--Patsy R. Dancey

3. One crazy day in our pediatric clinic saw me hand a young patient a urine sample container and tell him to fill it up in the bathroom. A few minutes later, he returned to my nurse's station with an empty cup.
"I didn't need this after all," he said. "There was a toilet in there."
--Linda Feikle

4. I was already a nervous wreck about my upcoming surgery. It didn't help matters when the admitting nurse asked me, "Have you had a hysterectomy before?"
--Terry Wisener

Do the Right Thing
5. Watching a movie recently, I couldn't hear the dialogue over the chatter of the two women in front of me. Unable to bear it any longer, I tapped one of them on the shoulder. "Excuse me," I said. "I can't hear."
"I should hope not," she answered. "This is a private conversation."
--David Carver

6. My husband decided to install a light switch in our master bedroom. Cutting into the wall, he discovered a stash of bottles and boxes.
"Honey!" he called excitedly. "Come see what I found!"
I ran in and quickly realized that his next task would be to fix the hole he had made in the back of our medicine cabinet.
--Nola Pirart

Wedded Blitz
7. The minute I walked into the post office, the postmaster noticed the new earrings my husband had given me.
"Those must be real diamonds," she said.
"Yes," I said. "How could you tell?"
"Because," she said, "no one buys fake diamonds that small."
--Deborah Caudell

8. When a woman in my office recently became engaged, a colleague offered her some advice. "The first ten years are the hardest," she said.
"How long have you been married?" I asked.
"Ten years," she replied.
--Tonya Winter

9. "What is that sound?" a woman visiting our nature center asked.
"It's the frogs trilling for a mate," Patti, the naturalist, explained. "We have a pair in the science room. But they've been together for so long, they no longer sing to each other."
The woman nodded sympathetically. "The trill is gone."
--KathyJo Townson

10. We rushed our four-year-old son, Ben, to the emergency room with a terrible cough, high fever, and vomiting. The doctor did an exam, then asked Ben what bothered him the most. After thinking it over, Ben said hoarsely, "I would have to say my little sister."
--Angela Schmid

11. "Once in Virginia," said a speaker who had received an introduction that promised more than he felt he could deliver, "I passed a small church displaying a large sign. It read 'Annual Strawberry Festival' and, below in small letters, 'On account of the Depression, prunes will be served.'"
--Boston Transcript

12. The best advice I ever received came to me from my ensign when I was a Wave at boot camp. She told me, "To stay out of trouble, say 'Yes, sir' all day and 'No, sir' all night."
--Anonymous

13. A friend and I were hitchhiking, but no one would stop. "Maybe it's our long hair," I joked. With that, my friend scrawled on a piece of cardboard: "Going to the barber's." Within seconds we had our ride.
--Raymond Butkus

14. A male friend of mine, an engineer at an aircraft company, works for a woman supervisor. An active member of women's lib groups, she often shows up at work wearing buttons featuring feminist slogans. One day, her latest button, "Adam was a rough draft," proved too much for my friend. The next day, he showed up at work sporting his own button: "Eve was no prime rib."
--Phyllis Reely

15. The teacher in one of our local grade schools was showing a copy of the Declaration of Independence to her pupils. It passed from desk to desk and finally to Luigi, a first-generation American. The boy studied the document reverently. Then, before passing it on, he gravely added his own signature.
--Katherine T. Floyd

16. On the way back from a Cub Scouts meeting, my grandson asked my son the question. "Dad, I know that babies come from mommies' tummies, but how do they get there in the first place?" he asked innocently.
After my son hemmed and hawed for a while, my grandson finally spoke up in disgust. "You don't have to make something up, Dad. It's okay if you don't know the answer."
--Harry Neidig

17. Driving with my two young boys to a funeral, I tried to prepare them by talking about burial and what we believe happens after death. The boys behaved well during the service. But at the gravesite, I discovered my explanations weren't as thorough as I'd thought. In a loud voice, my four-year-old asked, "Mom?"
"Yes," I whispered.
"What's in the box?"
--Ginny Richards

18. A family was celebrating their daughter's fifth birthday at a local restaurant when the little girl's father noticed her looking sadly at a moose head on the wall.
Someone had placed a party hat on its head. Her father knelt beside her and explained why some people hunt animals.
"I know all that," the child sobbed. "But why did they have to shoot him at his birthday party?"
--Jerry Bundick

19. On the last night of our childbirth classes, our teacher took us to see the maternity center.
We were gathered by the door when a woman, clearly in labor, and her nervous husband came rushing in.
When he saw our group of pregnant women, he panicked: "Oh, my God. Look at the size of that line!"
--Rachel Zeboski

20. We had just finished listening to an old Simon and Garfunkel tune when my young daughter asked, "Well, did he?"
"Did he what?" I asked back.
"Did Parsley save Rosemary in time?"
--Ron Pearce

21. A woman from our office brought in her new bundle of joy along with her seven-year-old son. Everyone gathered around the baby, and the little boy asked, "Mommy, can I have some money to buy a soda?"
"What do you say?" she said.
He replied, "You're thin and beautiful."
The woman reached into her purse and gave her son the money. --Mercury Nickse

On The Clock
22. When a nun collapsed in the sales representative's office at our time-share resort, the rep ran to the front-desk manager.
"Two nuns walked into the sales office, and one of them fainted!" she yelled breathlessly.
Unfazed, the manager just looked at her.
"Well," said the rep, "aren't you going to do anything?"
He replied, "I'm waiting for the punch line."
--Donna Caplan

23. Although desperate for work, I passed on a job that I'd found on an employment website. It was for a wastewater plant operator. Among the job requirements: "Must be able to swim."
--Michael Leamons

24. My first job was wrapping hams at a meatpacking plant. One day, I was heading out the main gate right behind a woman who was rather rotund. Or so I thought.
Just as she passed the guard shack, a ham dropped from her skirt. Before the guard could react, she wheeled around, shouting, "All right, who threw the ham?"
--Roger Schoen

25. While I was shopping in a pharmacy, a couple of teenagers came in. They were dressed in leather, chains, and safety pins. The boy had blue and purple spiked hair and the girl's hair was bright yellow. Suddenly the boy picked up a pair of sunglasses and tried them on. "What do you think?" he asked his girlfriend.
"Take them off!" she howled. "They make you look ridiculous."
--Audrey Kelly

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

animals' world



























































































































































































































































































































































































Wednesday, August 20, 2008

ForEveR frIenD

Sometimes in life,
you find a special friend;
Someone who changes your life
just by being part of it.
Someone who makes you laugh
until you can't stop;
Someone who makes you believe
that there really is good in the world.
Someone who convinces you
that there really is an unlocked door
just waiting for you to open it.



This is Forever Friendship.
When you're down,
and the world seems dark and empty,
Your forever friend lifts you up in spirit
and makes that dark and empty world
suddenly seem bright and full.
Your forever friend gets you through
the hard times, the sad times,
and the confused times.
Your forever friend holds your hand
and tells you that
everything is going to be okay.
And if you find such a friend,
you feel happy and complete,
because you need not worry.
You have a forever friend for life,
and forever has no end.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Cute Season

Animal act Cute season.....muahahaha....enjoy the picture below.....
Really CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!























Yawn....haha. sorry sorry...so many sleepy animal also cause me wan to sleep. hiak hiak...anyway

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please la...hahaha. support 5B...support me. Till now. buai~~~~~~